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Courtesy of Rebecca Minkoff
The only fashion rule in stand-up comedy is that you shouldn’t wear shorts because they’re considered “unprofessional.” This never made sense to me. I’m allowed to make jokes about snapping dicks during sex, but I can’t wear a high-waisted denim short? It’s 90 degrees in New York right now—wearing jeans feels like a pants prison, so I choose to ignore it. Sue me! I think this sartorial mandate was made for men who wear cargo shorts. There is also a weird rumor that if comedians wear something too trendy or revealing, it will distract the audience from their jokes. Again, I’m not buying it. Chalk it up to my rule-breaking nature, but lately I’ve become more interested in being fashion-forward (I’ve been watching a lot of outfit transitions on TikTok, okay?). And conveniently, I got invited to my first fancy-pants New York Fashion Week show.
I woke up in the morning feeling a little bit like Laney Boggs in the original She’s All That (except I wasn’t going to prom, and I don’t wear glasses). But for once, I wasn’t stressed about my outfit, because Rebecca Minkoff sent me a dress and shoes. There was no way I could mess this up! The dress was black with little sparkly details that glimmered in the sun, which matched my emo personality (a girl who copes with depression but is very fun on group chats!). The booties (which I guess are boots that know they’re cute?) had a triangular toe and thin stiletto-like heel, which I’ll admit scared me. I’ve been a big fan of the clunky platform shoe trend because they are so easy to walk in, but this shoe was a prime candidate for getting stuck in a subway grate.
Thus, I called an overpriced Uber to take me 20 blocks. At first I felt weird walking outside looking so fancy—most of my neighbors usually see me wearing baggy shirts and stuffing my face with a scallion cream cheese bagel—but then I remembered that literally no one cares and that’s the beauty of New York City.
Fifteen minutes later, I arrived at Spring Studios. I’ve seen influencers tag this location on Instagram, so I figured it was legit. The building looked like it was made for people who work in fashion—serious on the outside, but creative on the inside. Did that make sense? Sorry, fashion people scare me a little.
Like a deer on ice, I stepped out of the Uber in my stylish bootie stilettos and onto the cobblestone street. The funniest part about fashion week is how fashion bloggers have completely monopolized the roads for taking photos, creating massive traffic jams. I have to say, it’s pretty damn empowering to see a 5’3” girl in a pink chiffon dress completely unafraid of getting hit by Hummer.
When I walked in, I showed my vaccination card and ID and immediately saw my editor and publicist waiting for me. I awkwardly climbed up the stairs and prayed that I did my outfit justice. We were guided to a room on the sixth floor and I was immediately confused. There were no models, no runway, and no front row. Instead, there were large photos of models in different outfits hung on the walls of the room. I wondered if there was a mistake. I thought, Maybe the models are stuck in NYC traffic or overslept? We’ve all been there.
Just in time, Rebecca Minkoff herself gracefully strolled in. She was wearing a leather jacket and immediately saw the dress I was wearing, gave me an up-and-down stare, a quick nod, and, thankfully, a smile of approval. So basically, now I’m best friends with Rebecca. A photographer asked to grab a photo of us and I calmed down. I almost… fit in?
My editor Claire finally addressed the elephant in the room and asked Rebecca (in a polite way) what the hell was going on. Rebecca smirked and said, “This is a collection of NFTs. We are creating a fashion metaverse.” Immediately, I felt out of my league again. What is this alien technology? I’ve heard drunk finance bros at a bar discuss NFTs, but never an established fashion designer. I’m one of those people who was convinced that no one actually knows what an NFT is. Nachos For Tonight? (Sorry, I’m hungry.) Can I sell my fart tweets as NFTs? Also, what the hell is a metaverse? Is it where you go when you take ayahuasca?
I quickly got distracted by a star in the room. Every fashion week has a hierarchy of important people, and everyone kind of knows who is the most important. In this case, she was 7 years old and the self-proclaimed official backstage host of fashion week. She had a team around her, and her outfit was out of this world (do people still say that?). I got enough courage to walk over to her, even though she wasn’t making eye contact with anyone. I found out her name is Taylen Biggs, and she spelled out her Instagram handle for me like she’s done it a thousand times (a true professional). I told her that I also do hosting gigs, and that she should be proud of herself because the job is really hard. She quickly responded, “No, it’s not.” Truly iconic. If I could channel 10 percent of the confidence from this 7-year-old, who knows what I could accomplish. I also read in her Instagram bio that she is a philanthropist. A model citizen.
I finally focused on the fashion behind the 3D NFTs. The Rebecca Minkoff models were fierce, wearing studded leather jackets with cute crossbody bags to match. There was a clear New York City theme throughout with landmarks and graffiti in the background of the portraits. All of the women looked strong, accomplished, and on-trend. There were also iPads around the room where you could purchase the NFTs. Who knew iPads would have made it this far? I really did feel like I was witnessing the future of fashion. Leaving the show, I had a whole new perspective on the possibilities of fashion week. Now I’m probably going to invest in Dogecoin.
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