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“Can my husband find out who I’m voting for?” “Can I vote across party lines?” “Will anybody find out if I vote for a different party?” Olivia Dreizen Howell wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of questions that came her way after she posted an innocuous Instagram Story on a Wednesday morning in August. “All I said was: ‘Friendly reminder: You can vote for whoever you want to vote for, and you don’t need to tell anybody,’” she explains. “Then I went to take a shower and take care of my two kids.”
When Olivia, the 39-year-old co-founder and CEO of Fresh Starts Registry—a company that connects people to the supplies and experts they need to start over after major life transitions—returned to her phone, women from across the United States had flooded her Instagram inbox with questions about their voting rights. She says she felt compelled to post the Story after thinking about women she knows who’ve historically felt like they couldn’t be open about how they vote. “I didn’t want women to feel like they had to vote either way in this election because of their husband’s choice of vote,” she adds. After Olivia saw the deluge of responses, she recruited her sister, Genevieve Howell, 37, the co-founder and COO of Fresh Starts Registry, to help find reputable sources to which they could direct these women, but they couldn’t locate a centralized place that had answers to their most urgent election-related questions.
Neither sister has a background in political organizing, but it felt like too important a mission to ignore. As they got to work creating a resource hub, Olivia recruited her college ex-boyfriend, who works for a governor’s office, to fact-check the information. On October 1, the sisters launched Vote Without Fear, a campaign hosted on the Fresh Starts Registry website, to provide women with answers about the upcoming election. As the sisters explain, voting across party lines or for a different candidate can be its own kind of fresh start.
Olivia Dreizen Howell and Genevieve Howell
One of the most common concerns Olivia saw was directly related to her original post. She says she assumed it was common knowledge that your ballot is a secret, but found that many women in her DMs thought this information was public. According to the New Mexico Secretary of State, a recently released study found that more than 70 percent of voters in New Mexico think it’s possible to learn who someone votes for. Olivia wants women, and all voters, to know: Your voter information, such as your name, address, or party affiliation might be public, but “nobody can find out, once you cast your ballot, who you voted for.”
Unlike in primary elections, where you might have to vote with your official registered party depending on your state, your party registration has no impact on your vote in a presidential election. Olivia clarifies, “You do not need to change your party affiliation to vote across party lines. And if you want to vote across party lines, nobody will know who you’re voting for anyway.”
Now, she’s also prepared to answer some of the other frequently asked questions she’s received. For example: No, husbands cannot cast votes on behalf of their voting-age family members. Husbands are also not permitted into the voting booth with their wives. “Sometimes, people can try to convince you of things that aren’t necessarily true,” Genevieve says. “One of them is, ‘Of course I’m allowed to go into the voting booth with you.’ You’re not allowed to bring anybody into the booth over 18.” The exception is for individuals who require assistance, whether because they have trouble understanding English or due to a physical impairment or disability. The poll worker at the polling station upholds all the election rules, which should include reminding your spouse of your rights.
Although partners aren’t permitted inside the voting booth, parents can bring their minor children to the ballot. “If someone will give you trouble about who you’re voting for, find an opportunity to early vote with your kids,” Genevieve recommends. Just cover your ballot as you vote so your children cannot see who you choose.
“You can always say you have to vote early because you need to be at school or preschool on Election Day,” Genevieve continues. The number of children that parents can bring with them into the booth varies from state to state, so check with local election officials before heading to vote. If you want to vote outside of Election Day, Olivia also suggests filling out a mail-in ballot in a public location. Just be sure to check the deadlines in your state.
“The No. 1 thing is to keep yourself safe,” Olivia says, especially for people in domestic violence situations. Dr. Shauna Springer, chief psychologist for the trauma-informed wellness center Stella, says threatening a person’s right to vote is an extension of abuse. She warns that those who might find themselves hiding their vote from an abusive partner should “be prepared to answer intrusive questions” about said vote. Springer suggests researching ahead of time and learning a few merits about the opponent: “Whoever you vote for, there are likely one or two things you agree with about the alternative candidate.” That way, if asked, you’ll have a convincing answer about why you chose to vote for that candidate, even though you put something different on the ballot.
“It’s your vote,” Olivia stressed. “You walk into that voting booth, and it’s just you, the ballot, and maybe your kids. Your vote is your choice, and it’s something sacred. You don’t need to tell anyone who you voted for.”
Vote Without Fear also recently launched a non-partisan hotline at 888-291-3027, where you can find information about the national voter registration deadlines, how to check your voting status, and strategies to vote for your chosen candidate.
If you need further information about how to vote, you can go to vote.gov. And if you are a victim of domestic violence and need support, you can call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. The hotline can also be reached by texting “START” to 88788.
Ashley Couto is an award-winning writer and journalist based in Montreal. She has bylines in Condé Nast Traveler, Travel + Leisure, VICE, Business Insider, Entrepreneur, Observer, Queerty, etc. She covers travel, health, relationships, and entrepreneurship. When she’s not writing, Ashley’s probably at a museum or rewatching anything from the Schurverse.