Super Bowl Bets For Those of Us Watching For Everything But the Football

I’ll be honest, most Super Bowl parties have me anxiously hunched over my phone googling “what are the rules of football?” within the first 10 minutes. Having spent 24 years of my life blissfully unaware of vocab like “fumble” and “downs,” the Super Bowl is a three hour blur made bearable by good snacks and unexpectedly emotional Coca-Cola commercials. But what I lack in sports knowledge, I make up for in a raging fear of missing out.

I’ve had many (exceptionally patient) people try to explain the rules of football to me, but when you’re already a few decades behind the rest of the fanbase, you don’t feel particularly motivated to keep up. That said, Super Bowl Sunday is more that just a game — it’s a celebration — and that’s something I can definitely get behind…especially when all signs point to a potential Taylor Swift cameo.

In my mind, you shouldn’t need a crash course in football to participate in all the Super Bowl fanfare. Traditionally, the Super Bowl means fantasy football teams and some serious betting, which is a lot harder to get in on — let alone win — when you don’t know the first thing about football. To help people like me participate in the game, we put together a whole host of prop bets, superlatives, and predictions anyone can get behind — even if sports isn’t normally your thing.

Our version of Super Bowl bets include details about Usher’s halftime performance, the National Anthem run time, and even the color of the gatorade shower. Whether you’re already an expert, or totally new to football, just fill out the ballot below with your best guesses, nominate friends for awards, and compare answers at the end of the night. No matter what, there’s no real football knowledge required — I promise.